Bad Bad Santa
Bring me to the moon. 

Bring me to the moon. 

Naughty Santa Joke

What’s your favorite Naughty Santa Joke?

Naughty Santa Joke

A Sign of the Times

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?”

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”

Naughty Santa Joke

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Naughty Santa Joke

When you stop believing in Santa Claus 
is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.

Naughty Santa Joke

Tangentially related, only because chestnuts are xmas-y:

If I had some nuts on the wall, would I have walnuts? Yes.
If I had some nuts on my chest, would I have chestnuts? Yes.
If I had some nuts on my chin, would I have chinuts? No, you’d have a d*ck in your mouth.

Naughty Santa Joke

Why don’t Santas Elves walk in the grass?
because it tickles their balls

Naughty Santa Joke

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

Naughty Santa Joke

How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer!

Naughty Santa Joke

What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night!